‘Reflexions’ – building emotional intelligence in young adults

Becoming an independent individual is a complex and sometimes difficult journey. Who am I? What am I feeling? What is important to me? What choices and changes do I want? Where am I at and where am I heading? Reflexions can help young people reflect on their lives and see themselves from different angles. These cards are inspirational and motivational—they are a powerful reminder that young people can make active choices about who they want to be.

Working towards change at home or school

• Pick a card for how you are feeling about school/home/any situation at the moment. Place it in front of you on the left.
• Now pick a card for how you would like to be feeling. Place it in front of you on the right.
• Now, look at the 5 ‘Able to’ cards (the ones with the white frame). Which of these card(s) will be most helpful in getting to where you want to be? Place one or more of these between the first two cards.
• Have a conversation, and come up with a plan of action for getting from ‘here’ to ‘there’.

 Building emotional intelligence with individuals

• Spread the cards out on the table or floor. Pick a card that jumps out at you for any reason. Why did you choose this card?
• Which cards show feelings/thoughts that you feel you are in control of?
• Which cards show feelings or thoughts you have often/seldom?
• Which ones would your parents (friends, grandparents, and so on) say that you do well?
• Which ones do you enjoy and which ones push you around?
• Which ones would you like to change in your life?
• What is one thing you could do today towards making this change?
• What help or extra resources might assist with this?

Supporting families

• Looking at the cards, how do you as a family deal with these feelings/thoughts?
• Do you handle each of them constructively?
• Are there any that create confusion and upset?
• How do different family members enact each feeling/thought?
• What are the similarities and differences?
• When one family member is enacting one of these feelings/thoughts, how do other members react?
• Which of the cards would you as a family like to work on?
• What strengths do you have that you can use to work through these?
• Do you need extra help or resources?

Building empathy and peer support with groups

• What feelings and thoughts does each group member think they handle well/least well?
• How can friends help each other when someone is struggling with these feelings and thoughts?
• Do you feel under pressure to hide any of these feelings or thoughts?
• How might some of these feelings and thoughts lead to dangerous or self-destructive behaviour?
• How can this group encourage honest talk and feedback about these things?
• How can this group make sure that everyone is heard and welcomed to be themselves?

Random selection

Build fun into the conversation with random selection games such as shuffling and dealing cards, using lucky dips, placing cards at random on chairs, and memory games.

Reflexions is a resources for having authentic conversations with youth about values, feelings, goals, and the changes a young person may want to make. Gritty and broody, as well as passionate and soulful, these cards don’t shy away from the depths of feelings. They can be used to express a wide range of emotions and stories—the light as well as the dark. But most of all when working with young people—the REAL.